the RATS of moose

The Random Access ThoughtS of a mid-west, approaching-middle-age, nurse starting the next phase of life.

Monday, January 28, 2008


What a difference a day makes.... It's like the meds waited until the LAST POSSIBLE MOMENT to kick in.... I feel almost human.

And I feel like going SHOPPING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Sunday, January 27, 2008

Long time (cough) no blog

I has come to my attention that I have not had a "well" day this whole year. I got sick on December 29 and NOTHING HAS CHANGED!!! What is this? I went to school yesterday and the woman sitting next to me said her husband sounded like me (harsh cough, can't breath...) for six weeks. According to her I've got 2 week to go. I certainly hope so. It is so depressing to feel this consistently crappy. And I can't sleep. That's causing problems....

It didn't really sink in how sick I have been until yesterday. After my class (how to use Photoshop to mess up my pictures), I stopped at a strip mall to spend my 'Borders Bucks' and take advantage of a 30% off coupon.... I found 3 books on photography (maybe I should backtrack..... I got a really Really REALLY nifty SLR camera for Christmas... A beautiful Canon EOS Rebel xTi. I love it!!!!!!!!! We both have SLRs now so he wanted to take a photography class so we could use the cameras well. Well... in true procrastinator fashion, by the time we registered for the class at the local community college the class was full and only one of us got in. And... there was no waiting list. Which... didn't matter in the end because something happened to the instructor and the class was cancelled. But I had also signed up for 'Digital Darkroom', so went to school, hacking and coating myself with Purell every 5 minutes. So far, I like the class.. a lot! I actually drew a picture with Photoshop. And that's how I wound up at Borders.... had coupons and desired a book or 2 on using a digital camera and photography in general (an F stop means WHAT??) So I purchased my books (hack, cough, shudder), walked out of the store (hack, cough-cough-cough, shudder... oh, did I mention that these coughing paroxysms cause some really unpleasant gyneco-urinary side effects?) with the intention of going next door to Lands' End (probably my favorite store), hacked and coughed some more and decided that going home to take a nap sounded better than shopping. At my favorite store.

Something is not quite right here.

I left the strip mall at 5:30. I didn't get to sleep until after 2 am. Did I mention I was having problems sleeping?

I took a nap today..

I don't have the energy to put my Christmas decorations in the truck and drive them 6 blocks over to put back in the storage unit. I'm just leaving them stacked in the living room.

I don't care.

My head hurts.

My ears hurt.

My chest hurts.

My co-workers refuse to be in the same room as me.

I have no time off to take to be sick.

And 2 visits to the medicine woman haven't brought (bought) me the instant cure I wanted.

Chuck thinks it's the foam mattress topper we bought that is making me sick. It sounds good... chemical bronchitis or pneumonitis due to off-gassing... Not a bad thought.... but I got sick before the mattress arrived (at least the ones that are spewing fumes... gotta love the smell of toluene last thing before you drift off.... that could explain some of my dreams, too... hmmmmm).

I think it's a nasty cold that has reawakened my asthma (long seemingly dormant, although that's debatable... I have been getting this cold/killer cough combination once a winter the last several years... patterns, anyone?). I am on enough meds to kill a horse, including steroids (which may be the root of the can't sleep thingie... tomorrow morning is the last pill, we will see if I sleep better Monday night).

I don't care what it is. I just want it to leave. Okay, let me rephrase that.... I don't care what the eventual diagnosis is as long as it's something that's CURABLE!!

I just want to feel normal. I want my life back.

So... while I was driving home yesterday I thought about how being sick was manifesting itself in my life... here's what I came up with...

the TOP TEN Reasons Chris knows she's sick....

10. I slept in past 7 am on a Saturday morning

9. I've lost my taste for coffee

8. I've eaten homemade soup 7 days in a row

7. When faced with a choice of shopping or sleeping... shopping LOST

6. I got quarantined at work

5. I have e-mail more than 10 days old that is unread

4. And I have no interest in reading them...

3. I've spent more on medicine that groceries

2. I'm hacking up more hairballs than the cat

and............. THE NUMBER ONE REASON I KNOW I'M SICK...................

1. I haven't purchased a single pair of shoes ALL YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, January 17, 2008

My week, nutshell version

Well... it's been quite the week...

FedEx lost my feet....

My non-denominational employer is in bed with the Lutherans

My periodontist offered to manipulate my overgrowing gums with a machete

And my beloved boyfriend is being compared to Moses and/or God.

Does it get any better than this?

Monday, January 07, 2008

What the???

WEATHER ALERT: Tornado sightings, damage reported
Tornado watch in effect Photos Graphic: Shattering record warmth

Forecast Snow returns Video: Ride with snowplows

January 7, 2008 55° F

Last updated: 6:48 p.m.

What is wrong with this picture?

How about it's JANUARY

in CHICAGO!!!!!!!!!!

I just got back from the store... the truck thermometer said 67 degrees.... OUTSIDE!!

This is just wrong......

Turn down service every morning...

There is now a scientific reason for me NOT to make my bed. HA!